Wednesday 8th January 2014

A letter from Mummy.

Dear Darling little lamb,

1554541_10151929019143121_873178886_nYou are asleep just now. You look so peaceful and calm, its hard to believe what you are going through right now.

We know how horrid it is for you to have all these tests done, and we know how distressing it is when you don’t really understand why. But believe me when I tell you, that your Daddy and I would not put you through any of this unless it was absolutely necessary.

Every time I take you away from home, and your brothers and sisters, I feel sad.

Every time you have to have a procedure of any kind, my heart breaks a little bit more.

Every time you have to go to sleep, I’m scared that I am entrusting you to someone else because I can’t help you.

Any every time I think of your future with this condition I feel scared.

I wish I could take your place.

I wish you could just have a normal healthy childhood.

I wish I could do more for you.

I wish that I knew how to cope with all this.

I feel useless and angry that this is happening to you.

I will do everything I can to make this easier for you.

I will teach you to sign because you can’t speak.

I will crouch down and speak clearly because you have difficulty hearing.

I will stroke your head when you wake in the night.

I will cuddle you and keep you calm when your head hurts.

I will hold your hand and soothe you every time you need me to.

I will love you unconditionally, forever, no matter what!

I will make sure that you get the best treatment and support from the best team for as long as you need it!

My beautiful little boy, your strength and courage amazes me. I only hope that I can be as strong as you are one day.